Royal Caribbean Voyager of the Seas

If you've ever stayed in a nice hotel or eaten in a good restaurant, this cruise is not for you. This is a party boat about crowds, noise, booze, ice shows, bingo, plastic drink glasses that light up and nary a moment of going into another land as a guest. This is a completely American experience. The coffee is American (Italy has the best coffee in the world!) You use dollars on the ship. The entertainment is American. If you're seeking a European experience and want to embrace the romance of the Mediterannean, find a smaller, quieter ship. If you have a lot of kids that will get bored, this is your ticket.

Buffets of bad food on plastic plates will satisfy those looking for quantity. The dining room doesn't have any better fare. Portifino, the "extra pay" restaurant is somewhat better, but still the olives are canned and so is the tomato sauce. This cruise is about more, more, more - so they fill each moment with gimmicks and noise and games. Most people did not even leave the ship when we were in Rome, Florence and Palermo, and I am not sure why they went on this cruise rather than one closer to home - like St. Thomas or the like.

For those that did do the excursions - a nightmare. The tour agencies are rushed. Two of the three guides we had talked more about traffic and modern buildings than the historical sites we were seeing. They also manage to always work in shopping at a particular shop where they they have a deal to bring tourists.

Whatever you do, don't do a tour that has a lunch as part of the day. They herd you in like cattle and feed you really really bad food. Best to hire an independent guide in these magical cities who will go at your pace and really inform you about what you are seeing. All in all - it's hard to ruin Italy - but Royal Caribbean takes a good shot at it.