Luggage is often a problem when cruising because most people pack far too much. This suggestion is not for everyone, but my wife and I each travel with only a regulation-size (21x13x8 inch) airline carry-on, even when going around the world or on cruises. A micro fiber black suit, one dress shirt, two casual shirts, two slacks, two shorts, and two T-shirts with three sets of underwear do fine for me. Add a Gore-Tex rain jacket, swim trunks, a pair of Teva-style sandals, a daypack, a wash-kit, and a light sweater, and I am ready for anything. My wife substitutes a micro fiber black dress with fancy jacket and jewelry, plus additional items analogous to my own, and she is ready too.
Traveling light is the greatest skill we have learned in our years of travel. To be honest, most cruisers are so concerned about their own appearance that they do not care what you are wearing anyway. One of our favorite evening activities on formal nights is to sit near the photographers’ stations and watch the fashion parade. If you are a compulsive shopper and short on luggage space, pack a duffel bag for the return home.
Laundry can be a problem, especially on ships like the Zuiderdam which offer no self-service launderette. We have found that one can hand-wash almost anything (no jeans please), roll it in a dry bath towel for several minutes, and then hang it (it does not drip) from the air conditioning vents overnight and it will be ready to wear the next morning (gauche, but no one, not even your cabin steward or hotel chambermaid, need know). We carry two or three plastic hangers for just this purpose, and use paper clips as adapters if the hangers are too thick. Never, never, never hang anything from the sprinkler heads in your cabin or hotel room.
Embarkation in the FLL cruise port is very efficient. The lines may be long, but they move quickly. One can be on the ship by late morning and enjoy lunch at the buffet while the cabins are being cleaned (cabins are usually available by 1pm). DISEMBARKATION is equally simple. HAL is now generous enough to allow passengers to wait in their cabins until their disembarkation group is called. On this cruise, HAL kindly put us in the first group (disembarking about 8:30 am) since we had an early return flight. With no suitcases to claim, we just walked right through US customs to the head of the taxi line and were at the airport in less than 15 minutes.
Rough weather is always a possibility, although it is rare after the summer/fall hurricane season. New cruise ships have such a relatively high profile and shallow draft (about 25 feet) that they tend to list or rock in high winds. Take some meclizine tablets or scopolamine patches if you are a fair weather sailor. I hate the hung-over feeling I get from either, and have found that my wife’s over-the-counter anti-reflux medication works like a charm for me, with no side effects.
Whiny cruisers are the greatest disappointment on the seas. Some people just seem to enjoy being unhappy about not being royalty. The crew is amazingly patient with these folks – the crew deserves our admiration dealing with trivial complaints when their own families at home may be lucky to have basic food and shelter. Don’t get caught up in whiny cruisers’ games and don’t be impressed by their princess-and-the pea attitudes. Just walk away and be glad they are not your neighbors (if they are at your table, ask the maitre d’ to relocate you).
Gluttonous cruisers are the second greatest disappointment. It is sad to see the excessive consumption and waste of food on every cruise, especially when the culprits are sometimes morbidly obese. Don’t get caught in the same cycle. The main dining room offers a portion-controlled refuge if your self-control weakens. I must admit HAL’s dense-and-chewy raisin bread, fresh-squeezed orange juice (not out of the dispenser, but on the nearby shelves), and wafer-thin-crisp-as-can-be-bacon made me think each morning that I had died and gone to heaven, but I was careful to enjoy smaller portions during the rest of the day.
Smokers deserve our sympathy because very few drugs are as highly addictive as nicotine. That being said, I was glad to be protected from smoke in the dining room and most public areas. Unfortunately, the open decks and enclosed pool area are open to smokers without the usual portside smoking/starboard side no-smoking split. Mea culpa, I apologize to the kindly gentleman who wanted to join me for breakfast on deck. When I learned he was a smoker, I suggested I would meet with him later in the day but needed a non-smoking table to eat. I still feel guilty about being so blunt, but after years of seeing people die of cancer, heart disease, stroke, and other smoking-related illnesses, I have become more an anti-smoker than non-smoker.
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