Possible Changes in the Cruise Industry?
I received this in an email, and it made me laugh out loud. Given the stress and sad news of this month, I hope you enjoy it too. These are DEFINITELY changes we DON'T want to see in the cruise industry!
In response to difficult financial conditions for the cruise industry, here are the new rules to take effect immediately. They are as follows:
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Passengers will be
limited to one meal per day in the dining room, which will be served on a
paper plate and with plastic tableware (also a security measure). |
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Rather than service by waiters/assistant waiters/headwaiters, all service of food will be provided
by a woman named Mildred wearing a hairnet and apron and serving food from a large vat with a ladle. |
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Exotic foods such as Lobster, Crab and Veal will be discontinued...new food choices include meatloaf, fish sticks and "Spaghetti Surprise"... |
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All other meals during the day will be available from coin-operated vending machines in what
formerly had been used as the "showroom"... |
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Nightly shows will be eliminated and replaced with a 24-inch Motorola tuned to "Nick-at-Nite"... |
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All lounge entertainment will be laid off and replaced with winners of first-night
karaoke contests... |
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All passengers will be expected to "double up" in cabins... |
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Roll-aways to be placed on former balconies/verandas...to be now rented as
"outside-outside" rooms... |
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Tender service to be discontinued in ports where previously required...Passengers will be
allowed, instead, to swim to port. Shark repellant will be available for purchase at gangway, at a cost of $5.50 per bottle. |
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No daily cabin steward service...You don't change your sheets every day at home
anyway... |
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No more Midnight Buffet (Whoops, they already got rid of that one!) |
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All Vodka, Rum and Tequila used in bars to be replaced with equally clear-looking
water...rather than the 50/50 mix now being used... |
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Surcharge for use of pools, deck chairs or public toilets... |
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Reduce electricity cost by turning off all lights in ship after 9:00 p.m... |
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To conserve water, port-a-potties have been installed on all decks. Additionally passengers will
be allowed twice each cruise to go up to the top deck and be hosed down by crew. Shower dates and times to be assigned at embarkation. Please supply your own
soap and shampoo. |
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At no time will passengers be allowed to wash clothes in the hot tubs without using
biodegradable laundry soap, let's all remember to protect our environment!
And lastly... |
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To reduce fuel costs, oars and oarlocks to be installed on lower deck...All Passengers required to do a six hour shift on the oars each day...and to pay an "equipment fee" for rental of the required chains and manacles... HOPE YOU ENJOYED! |
Courtesy of: Francine
Dumont, Cruise Specialist 1-800-910-1240, extension 255
Travel Trends and Linda Nelson, former About Guide to Air Travel
